Welcome to the Kill La Kill reader-voted deck tech! For this article, we have the unique challenge of attempting to construct a proper Nonon waifu deck.
A while ago we asked readers on the Facebook page what they do if there aren’t enough cards in a series to make their ideal waifu deck.
Gabriel C. was the clear winner:
Print out and insert pictures of their face into the card sleeves to replace the other character’s face.
Now, doing this deck tech is difficult because our beloved Nonon only has THREE cards in the entire Kill La Kill set.
This article was written as a funny piece. If you would really like a more serious deck with Nonon as the featured Best Girl, taking an old list and doing the cutouts is probably the best option available. We at 9th CX do not take any responsibility for loss of hearing, friends, or spot in store as a result of the antics discussed herein.
mfw not enough Nonon
So what do we have to work with?
The following Nonon cards are all that the set has to offer:
If Nonon has too much nani in her sore, she gets +2000 power.
(If there’s a marker under Satsuki’s Childhood Friend, Jakuzure, it gets +2000 power. You can put a marker under it if it is placed on your stage from the waiting room. It gets hand encore if you control 2 or more other [Clothes] characters.)
Start of the Song, Jakuzure has a CX combo with “Honnouji Academy Elite Four, Ultimate Battle Regalia!”: you can pay 1 stock when the CX is played. If you do, it gets +1000 power until end of turn and can attack a character on the back stage.
The Elite Four, Jakuzure is a… vanilla 3000 power character.
Time to put some of this replacement into action!
(Warning: Approximately 10,000 man hours were used in the production of these masterful Photoshop productions. Playing the 1 hour NANI SORE loop is highly recommended.)
To Protect the World,
Satsuki Nonon is the perfect way to get a level 3 presence in this Nonon deck.
Wait wait wait, where’s the list?
The uh, ideal list of a Nonon deck that is (definitely not) legal for play would look something like:
24 The Elite Four, Jakuzure
10 Start of the Song, Jakuzure
8 Satsuki’s Childhood Friend, Jakuzure
8 Honnouji Academy Elite Four, Ultimate Battle Regalia!
But, adding cards like these:
Will probably be very helpful in the long run.
How do we use this deck?
When using the Nonon Waifu Deck™, one must prime for proper preparation.
First, purchase a very high quality sound system.
No, I’m not talking about Bose – you think Nonon would go for that mass market stuff?
Remember, she (properly) uses Pomp and Circumstance (RIP Elgar) to attack people.
Actually, scratch that. Just hire a whole band.
(For the brave: I am actually one day hoping to gather a band to literally follow around a Nonon cosplayer specifically to play Pomp and Circumstance offensively. It would be glorious.)
Fortunately, this is not a how-to for conducting, but a how-to for making sure your opponent understands that Nonon is #1.
As you shuffle your deck, have the band warm up in the background. Then, as you present for cut, motion with your hand to cue the music.
Once your opponent has been inundated with the sound, he or she will be so demoralized he or she may not notice that you’ve already drawn your perfect opening hand of FIVE Nonon.
Make sure that the band is playing appropriately to react to if you are winning or losing. If you should win, a victory fanfare is in order. If you somehow lose with Best Girl (really? Your devotion was clearly not high enough. Come on.) well, make up for it by directing the band to play louder and LOUDER.
If your opponent is unable to continue the game due to uncontrollable laughter or sudden hearing loss, consider it a victory, for
science music Nonon!
If hiring a band is not in the budget (look, if you can buy signed cards, you can probably rent a band for a reasonable $5,000, no big deal), then put this on your phone and have it play for the entirety of the game:
If you have questions or comments, please send us a message via Facebook or an email at theninthcx AT gmail DOT com. Be sure to sign up for our monthly giveaway! Thanks for reading!